The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
