My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
