Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
