Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
