Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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