in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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