I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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