1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
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She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
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WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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