you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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