I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
how does that bad decision feel?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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