look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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