She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
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It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
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she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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