Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have aggressive nipples.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
