I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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