The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize