That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
