I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize