Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
