Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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