that's an acceptable place to lick
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
