I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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