I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
