He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
