I love black thongs
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Semen is not good for contacts.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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