Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
