Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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