i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
