God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
