is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I touched a dick in church today
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
