Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
