White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
