Cold hands, warm shart.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
