Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
