Who did Billy Mays play for?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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