And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
