just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
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We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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