no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
