"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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