I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
