i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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