Nicole vs. Life
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
