is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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