i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
