Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
