you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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