i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize