my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
