im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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