So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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