so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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