remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
