You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
