either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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