I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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