dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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