Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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