Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
