I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
