The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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