When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
