the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
