He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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