you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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